Saturday 19th September 2015

12025376_10153621185416585_596582195_n 12025568_10153621185531585_1907858893_n 12053199_10153621185456585_989294780_nSaturday September 19th 2015

Jorge was at the hospital this morning, the nurses took another blood and during test to compare with the ones from the previous day. Our poor little boy was being poked and prodded everyday for more tests, he had done nothing to deserve all of this it wasn’t fair. Another male doctor came to see Leo. The doctor checked Leo and advised Jorge that with all the symptoms he had described that Leos liver was inflammed due to all of the medication and this could be the root of the bacterial infection that was in his body. Leo was still expressing that he was in pain, but the good news was that his heartbeat finally went down to an average of 100-110bpm. Jorge asked the doctor about the normal rate for a child and he said 110bpm, last night Leos heartrate had increased to 200bpm and Jorge had to put a lot of pressure on to the doctors for them to actually notice and do something about it. We had expressed our worries about his high heart rate to numerous nurses during the previous days and nobody had listened to us until last night.

The doctor told Jorge that Leo was very sick and his brain had been very badly damaged and that he could die at any moment nobody knew. Again it was a different opinion from another doctor and almost the opposite of what the doctor had said the previous day that I had on a recording. Why was everyones opinions so far from each other? Yesterday I was thinking my baby boy could be home in maybe a month, today he could die at any moment, how could this be right???   We decided to take what the doctor said with a pinch of salt and we could see for ourselves and feel in our heart that apart from the fever and bacteria infection that Leo was improving little by little. It was going to be a long process but he was progressing by baby steps in our opinion. I arrived at the hospital at about 2pm and Leo had been sleeping the whole morning, he was not sedated his little body was just so full of all different types of medication for different things. At least he was resting and giving his body and brain a chance to recover.

The male doctor came to visit us again in the evening, he had bad news. He told us that Leo was so sick and his brain was very very damaged. He told us that his encephalo that controled transmitting oxygen to all parts of the body had been damaged due to the pressure of the tumour. He told us that there was very chance Leo would survive, he could not say if it would be hours or days but little by little he would become worse. He told us that he could have a good day but we shouldn’t get our hopes up as his little body was failing and organs would gradually cease to exist.

Our world had just shattered, this doctor was apparently a good doctor and had been at the hospital for 35 years. I called my mum who immediately came to the hospital and we all broke down. This could not be happening. 24 hours before we were being told that in a few weeks Leo could be home again and 24 hours later that he could die at any moment. This was not right…..the doctors could not do anything and we had to sit by his bedsite until his organs began to fail. The three of us sat there in tears and watched his little diaphram moving up and down, it looked like it was becoming more and more difficult for him to breath. Oh my goodness was my baby boy just dying infront of my eyes and I could not do one thing to help him. This was the hardest time in our lives….we were saying goodbye to him but we still didn’t know if it could be hours or days. I dashed to the intensive care unit to look for another doctor in tears for a second opinion, I could not accept what this doctor had said, but as it was a Saturday there was only one doctor one duty. We were constantly praying and watching his stats of oxygen increase and decrease with our hearts jumping at every change or deep breath he made. We wanted to stay awake all night to spend every moment with our baby that we had left, but we had to try and sleep a little bit. I had a bit of a panic attack and had difficulty with breathing due to all the anxiety and all of the crying, what was I supposed to do. Sit back and let him die……. My brother and sister told me they would fly out the following day to say goodbye to him. I needed them here by my side now.

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