Friday 30th and Saturday 31st October 2015- Starting to wonder if this nightmare will or when it will ever end…..

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Sorry I did not complete the blog yesterday…. I felt like I was just in an emotional tornado and could not escape. I just couldn´t get my head together at all to realize what was actually happening.

Two months ago I would have bet my life on it that this was impossible to happen….

Questions just keep going round and round in my head again, why the hell has it happened twice to Leo? and the septicemia! He has done nothing wrong, he just wants to be a normal child….I am so scared that everyday the tumour is getting bigger and bigger and just eating away at his brain….yet he still all smiles through all of it.

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Well yesterday was a birthday that I really do not want to repeat, next year I want to be celebrating my birthday with both of my beautiful babies by my side, that is all I want.

Our plans changed and we are now going to Alder Hey Hospital in England. A neurosurgeon has been highly recommended who is world renowned from Alder Hey Hospital has said he is more than happy to take on Leos case. Also a few nurses from the hospital have been in touch with me and have been very very helpful and welcoming to us.

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Yesterday morning we went to the hospital to tell the hospital that we had decided to go to England for treatment for Leo. The nurses and doctors were very supportive of our decision and were more than helpful with all of our needs. There were a lot of tears from some of the staff at the hospital as they have been with Leo since the beginning and they have seen the whole evolution of his case.

We picked up all of Leos medical history and copies of all of his scans, and the doctors said that we always have a home there at the hospital. They said when Leo returns he is more than welcome to have treatment or rehab there which was really nice of them to say. It was really sad it was like saying goodbye to that chapter of our lives where we have gone through so many emotional rollercoasters in that hospital.

Leo was his normal happy self there and chilled for a bit on his old bed while we were waiting for all of the papers.  The doctors did a basic check up on Leo to confirm he was in good health to fly and everything was fine.

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After saying our goodbyes we had to go and buy a few winter clothes so we do not freeze our butts of in the UK.

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As soon as we returned back home we booked our flights to Liverpool for Sunday. That was it no going back now our decision was made….we began trying to organize things but late in the day I found out that Leo needed to be registered with a GP in order to receive free medical care or we could be risk being left with a very very large bill to pay. The stress levels were for sure at their maximum last night!  I did start to feel like I was just fighting a losing battle, a small part of me said ´hold up the white flag now, this is too hard and I am not strong enough for any of this again´ but when I saw the smile on Leos face that small doubt disappeared…and I really would do anything for him. Even if I ended up paying for the treatment for the rest of my life it is worth it to have my little baby alive!

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If not then looks like the S & P Team will be doing the ´Prowlers for Leo´ Event every weekend to pay for Leos treatment! lol..

Last night was very very stressful as we were trying to make contact between Leos consultant and the consultant at the UK hospital but to no avail. Today Jorge went back to the hospital in Almeria and picked up another CD with Leos scanned and got a signed and stamped letter from one of Leos consultants to say that he is happy for Leo to fly to UK and receive the relevant treatment there. Hopefully everything should be ok now.

Unfortunately now as Leo has to be registered with a doctor in the UK, we will need to do that in Manchester,so tomorrow after arriving in Liverpool we have to travel to Manchester to stay the night, then Monday morning register Leo at the GP and by Monday afternoon hopefully he will be at Alder Hey Hospital. My brother lives in Manchester and we have many friends there so it should not be a problem.

We have been reassured that if Leo deteriorates that we just go to the emergencies and he will be seen to immediately without cost. This does make me feel a little bit more relaxed about the situation. When Leo is finally at Alder Hey in a bed I think my blood pressure might actually decrease a little bit.

Yesterday also I took Leo to the school to say goodbye ´see you soon´ to all of his school mates, and then we went to his old nursery to say goodbye to everyone there. Needless to say there were a hell of a lot of tears.

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Sofia was very very emotional today and saying that all she wanted to do was to play with Leo like before. She told me she had written her list for santa and all it said on it was ´ I just want Leo to be better for Christmas´. That really would make a perfect Christmas for all us and it is what all of us are praying for.  It is like someone messaged me…..A miracle happened once, why not twice……

Today we had fun with the kids and I wanted to make some more memories, I took prints of the kids hands and feet. It got very messy in the end and Sofia also decided to paint Leos lips red! lol…..

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Sofia is with us tonight and early tomorrow I will drop her at my parents house, it is going to be one of the most difficult things ever watching her say goodbye to Leo not knowing when she will next see him again.  The bond between Leo and Sofia is indescribable, you only have to say Sofias name and Leos face lights up so much….they really are like best friends.

Sofia had Leo sat in his pram today and she was pretending she was the teacher and he was the student…she was teaching him the numbers and he was really learning from her! It was adorable! Another moment to treasure and appreciate more than I ever did before.

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Leo not looking too impressed to being photographed with grandad.

We had loads of visitors today which was lovely again to see the support, but also so sad at the same time for the reason of the journey we are about to take in our lives now… later on we did have some scary visitors also! lol

Now time for bed and bring on tomorrow! Leo is ready to win this next fight!

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Leo looking very very scared…..

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